CASE STUDIES 2010

Case study: A dysfunctional relationship: (Misplaced Values)

Christine was articulate, sensitive yet resolute. She had been with her partner for 10 years of which the last 3 had been difficult.

Her partner was very controlling and jealous. She refused to be controlled and tried separating from him many times but her emotional attachment prevented her from letting go and she resented this, big time! This woman was ready to move on but needed a little help in the process.

I explored her values within a relationship and asked her to write down 10 things that are really important to her. From her completed list, I asked her to select 6 and priorities them in terms of importance. Here is what she presented:

1. Feeling safe
2. Friendship
3. Honesty
4. Appreciation
5. Security
6. Encouragement

I asked her to circle the values that were being respected and honoured by her partner. She circled two, was unable to speak to me for some time and emotionally broke down.

She circled, ‘feeling safe’ and ‘friendship’. Christine realised she felt safe when around her partner but not loved, respected or truly appreciated. We began to explore her need for feeling safe.

Christine had lost her father at a young age. As an adult, she longed for her father’s love and approval.

Case study: A single parent’s suffering:

Julia was a single parent, when her son was 3 months old she went out to work. After rapid promotion, she found herself in the demanding role of Operations Director.

Work was hectic and after 6 years she began to find challenges at work stressful, as time went on, her feelings became overwhelming. Depression descended upon her and she couldn’t shake off the black cloud that followed her everywhere.

I perceived Julia’s depression as a symptom of another suffering that lay deeper. 

Julia’s husband left her without warning when their son was two weeks old. She vowed her son would not be affected, so she took the shock, hurt and anger, boxed it up and buried it somewhere deep inside her. 

We revisited that day her husband left and the raw emotion of devastation came flooding back. Julia had never allowed herself to feel the pain at that time because she wanted to keep the joy of her new born baby. Sadly, this was a bitter sweet experience for her. We dealt with the unexpressed emotion, things became clearer for her and life became hopeful again. We worked on her values, self esteem and confidence.

As a result of clearing the baggage that was disempowering her; she is now re-training as a teacher, spends more time with her son and is happily looking forward to a bright future.